Johns utter happiness

                Yeah, happiness, what a cool concept right? Everybody wants it and everybody claims he's happy. Some even say that others make them happy. Big fucking liars. In this idiotic world the only one that fights for your happiness is you, only you and no one else but you. You must stand your ground and take a swing back at life every time it tries to knock you down, because in the end nobody else can do it for you.

                And that brings us to our stupid little John. Probably the only idiot out there that still puts his twisted ideals above his happiness. The only one fucked up enough to care more for others than for himself, to play with his own feelings just so he doesn't hurt the feelings of others. For a person that doesn't give a fuck about other people's opinion, he sure does put a lot of effort into trying to please everybody and be as politically correct as humanly possible.

                How noble, one may think, what an amazing sacrifice for the sake of others. Wrong! So Goddamn wrong. By doing this John is, in fact, the most selfish person anyone could ever meet in a lifetime. He pleases everybody to keep his options open, he avoids other people's pain so he can keep it all to himself, he feeds from other's right to misery. Deep inside his twisted mind, he knows that no one is really happy, he knows that this mad world fucks us all at one point or another. But he tries his best to keep others happy, or at least to see others happy. This way, his misery is what defines him, it's his own little thing, the only thing that reality can't screw up even more. It's his own special thing. By feeling a lonesome sufferer, John feels special. So fucking special.

                But he's not. The extraordinary John Doe is just another loser in a twisted world, an idiot with a bad case of hypocrisy and a load of self-loath in his brain. Just another closed-up thought in another twisted mind. He could've died a thousand times till now, and that's the only thing that could ever make him special. The only extraordinary thing about him. John Doe won't fucking die. He just won't let go, he keeps himself alive, feeding from other people's happiness and nurturing himself with sadness.  He hides from his happiness like a vampire hides from the sunlight, he just won't quit. All he would have to do would be to let himself catch fire and burn in an explosion of joy. But no. John Doe is a stubborn little fuck, and as said before, it seems that he's bound to survive in this world forever more.